My Journey to peace.

I always like to give insight as to why I reverted to Islam, many people wonder why did I change? What did my family think? Was it because of my husband???? a million questions but my reason is personal to me and I'm the only one who can answer it. 

The beginning of my story...

My life hasn't been a bed of roses I don't think anyone can say it is, but my story has had lots of up and downs.  My early childhood holds lots of fantastic memories, summers spent in Norfolk, Ice skating at Alexandra Palace and doing winter pantos, the church with my parents, and being part of a fantastic community of people that still today I have very special relationships with, the list can go on.    My family consisted of my Jamaican-born father who came here as a young boy in the 60s and my mother who is considered an English rose they met in their teenage years and have been married for nearly 40 years.  I'm blessed with 2 sisters who have always been supportive and still live local to me.  My aunty and her 2 girls have always been positive presences in my life even though we are cousins I can say we are close to a sister relationship. My white grandparents were the foundation of this wonderful family and the central hub when anything was happening in the family.  

Teenage years...

oh boy, these are the tough years right, learning about yourself, seeing the world without your parent's guidance, and experiencing  the world through growing eyes. The world can be a darn right scary place, navigating new friendships, and learning about etiquette and political correctness.  Secondary school wasn't a simple journey for me it molded me into the person I am today. I started in the follow-on school that everyone went to from primary school.  I was forced to change schools after I was attacked by a group of girls, was this the defining point? 'nope' did it change me. of course, I was having to learn new coping skills that I had never had to use before.  Highbury Fields was a wonderful school, the community were great and I felt like I could thrive amongst my peers, my family and community support was fantastic but it didn't stop the feelings of why did God do this to me? being raised in a Christian household this was, of course, the question I would continually ask myself the church had become distant because I just couldn't navigate through those emotions.  

First experience of a Masjid...

My parents were very supportive of my GCSE options, they believed that me making my own choice was extremely important to how successful I would be in achieving good grades.   I always was interested in different cultures and religions and thought it would be really interesting to do Religious education as a GCSE.  I remember the first lesson with Ms. Rowson, she was this cool teacher that had a great influence on me she was kind and warm and loved teaching her students. I had the opportunity at such a young age to learn about Islam and also experience going to the Mosque with my peers in school.  

I can't remember the day but i can remember my lovely Muslim friend guiding me through the etiquette of going to the mosque, she kindly borrowed me a hijab and put it on for me so i didnt look like an absolute novice.  I wasn't prepared for what I would feel or how important that first experience was going to have in the future, Michelle.  Regents Park Mosque was breathtaking, outstanding in its architecture and, peaceful as it would feel walking in for the first time.  

Fast forward to the 2000s

In 1999 I met Dean he was my first and last love, writing about this as Michelle 39 I couldn't have known back then how this adventure was going to unfold.  Dean was DJ Cobra he was this cool guy that everyone wanted to know and I was fortunate enough to have captivated his interest.  We fell in love but both of us were lost in the respect of religion. He lost family members that had become very close to me, and we struggled with the concept of loss, and how we could retain that connection even when they weren't still here.  We processed it at the time through spiritualism, and crystals with the hope we could even if it was just a moment more with them.  we just didn't feel right the Patrick Swayze moment just didn't come and as a partnership, we know it wasn't right for us so we gravitated back to knowing there was a God but just not knowing which religion was right for us.  You're probably thinking why did we need to have a label?? It wasn't the label it was just being part of something much bigger than us, that kept calling but just not putting our finger on it. 

Our children!!!! 

Becoming parents was a wonderful feeling for us, you can't put it into words, especially after such a long hard time of trying.  We were blessed in 2008 and 2013 with our boys who would also become Muslims on the day we reverted. The  experiences in the 5 years leading up to that special moment, Dean's dad going to prison, the loss of family, divisions between friends paved the way for that feeling of belonging to resurface again, with the hardships we had faced we were being called once more. I think many reverts have a poignant moment in their life when it just is the right time.  Allah had placed us in a home next to the wonderful Hayder family our children played and went to school together which was fantastic, my eldest son Reece had a beautiful bond with them all and so did we, we were truly thankful.  I  cant tell you the specific moment that it clicked but after lots of research, it felt like the moment was right. Allah Subhan Wa'tala calls who he wills, and this was our moment Alhamdullilah.